"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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