im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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