She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
