When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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