Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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