i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
