I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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