I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
