you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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