Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
