i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
