Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And my parents said I crawled through the house
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize