Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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