Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
