North Korea, Best Korea!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize