Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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