i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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