Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
