She announced her abortion via fbk
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
