I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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