My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize