I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
