I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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