Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
