i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
