when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
