the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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