People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
