It's like God shit irony all over that family
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
