Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
