can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize