Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
