i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
