Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
