I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
