i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
