I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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