fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
