I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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