Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
