you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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