So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
