i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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