My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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