When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
