yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
