I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
