ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
