in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
