yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
