You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
