If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
This house was built for laser tag.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
