I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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