Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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