I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
