Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Randomize
