Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
