i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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