winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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