just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize