i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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