Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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