You really coming over, don't trick.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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