Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
