I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
