I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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