everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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