Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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